It’s late May 2009, and I’m walking out of my local after a few drinks with the ‘lads’. As always, the nights been a laugh, drinks, banter, and we’re planning the up and coming annual lads holiday. I left the pub smiling and laughing, and walking home only took a few minutes, but when I got home and into bed it all changed. I broke down into tears. This was becoming a recurring event, and these tears weren’t just sobs,…